Challenge accepted.

-June 10, 2010- Dear friend,

I learned a really valuable lesson the other day. Catching a deep breath of fresh air, i looked up at my friends from the bottom of the 50 ft. waterfall. No one thought i would jump at the time i did. I personally didn't think i would do it at the time i did. That was the beauty of it. Through out the few years i've been by myself, I've learned that you have to take risks when they come. There was a young girl named Madison at the top of the waterfall, and before i had even got there, she had been contemplating whether or not she'd take the jump. I went to go talk to her and the first thing i noticed about this girl is that she was absolutely terrified. Not knowing how to comfort her i said.. damn thats a far drop.. probably didn't make her feel any better, but i was really just surprised about how far down the landing was. After about 15 minutes of talking herself in, then back out of it, i asked if she would jump if i did. It took her a second to decide yes. She hardly finished the word as i was already flying off the rock. The fall felt like it lasted forever, and all i could think about is how much it would hurt when i would break through the surface to the freezing cold depths of the unknown. Before i knew it i was smothered in my watery grave and fighting to breathe. Luckily i landed it perfectly and no harm was done. All i could feel was shock and relief that i was okay. That was the moment i saw the people looking down on me. Like a boss i climbed onto land. The long walk back to the top, i was able to apply the assumed near death experience to my personal life. When an opportunity comes, not exactly pertaining to jumping off a cliff, but in real life.. jump at the first chance you get. You could spend so much time thinking about your fate, that you talk yourself in and back out, ultimately letting the opportunity pass. This can be applied to the smallest things like getting ice cream with an old friend, or to life changing experiences like moving away for college. Just do it, you'll be far ahead of your peers, and they will definitely be surprised. Either way, you'll always gain something from it. You'll either love the outcome, or hate it, but you'll never know until you try. Life lesson learned- Be impulsive =]

- Jan. 6, 2011- Dear friend,

So. where do i start? I was thinking about a book that i read pretty often, it's called perks of being a wallflower. In that book there is a boy named "Charly" he was a very mixed up little boy who was about to start his first year of high school. As most of you probably know, High school is the start of the process of growing up/daycare. One of charlies therapists told him to keep some kind of journal to write down his feelings and experiences to help deal with the stress of losing a friend. I haven't lost a friend, but sometimes i feel like i'm losing myself, so i thought.. why not?? Today was a very stressful day. Going back a few months i ended an engagement with a person i've been with for 5 years. I never realized how bad of a relationship it was until she told me for the SECOND time that if i did not show her more attention, she was afraid she MIGHT find it in someone else. It took me about a week and a half to really decide that i did not want to marry her. It should have been done instantly the first time. I've been away from her for about 5 months. A few weeks ago, i started talking to a girl that i've been acquainted with since the 9th grade, and she is absolutely one of the most fantastic people i've ever met. Like any other person, she has issues. As far as i can tell, its social anxiety, along with a little attachment disorder. I think we have a little more in common than she thinks. We'll see how this goes :)